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Updated: Oct 10, 2022

In the Instagram reels Iceland is very idyllic, backed up with Harry Styles songs and somehow you know: that's where I want to go, cosmopolitan me.

Then you happen to be here, and it really is a dream. Another planet in the middle of the Atlantic. But in reality, Iceland is also very rough, and some things seem really hostile to life. "The good weather last week was only because of the volcanic eruption". Uh-huh...

And you know what, I love it here. You can't always walk around here vacation-happy, because sometimes it's tough. Iceland is how it is, it doesn't try to please you, even the opposite. It snaps at you, it's rainy and cold, and you're also allowed to be in a bad mood because you're sitting in this cabin - and no hike today. Iceland gathers anger and there are earthquakes. Then that anger comes out in the form of a volcanic eruption. Goosebumps. It's so close to the earth here, you can hear it breathing. It has a heartbeat and I have one too. Two.

People here are different. They don't hide behind social rules, they are loud, and they are confident in the spa locker room. They just live and do what feels right. On the holiday, the stores are closed, but whoever wants to may open. It's not the government that decides, it's you. More personal responsibility please.

They don't stress, it's dangerous enough outside. As an Icelander told me, "everyone can do or be whatever he/she wants. And everyone knows and counts on that". It feels so human, so right. I miss it a lot.

And the landscapes. Black and green, all my nordic greens. Ocean and lava rock. Hills that look like bread crusts. Moss, oodles of various moss. You can look into this infinite expanse of landscape, or loose yourself in the infinite depth of moss. Rivers with nothing standing in their way. Everything is moving and changing, some areas are only 9000 years old. We are so small and so shortly here....

This post is like Iceland, not conclusive, not perfect-placed, but real and up close. I will definitely come back. Another, older, more grown up me, a mother. I'll look how the little trees will have grown. Maybe by that time the world will be more aware. Maybe then we will have managed to redirect our economy. Maybe then the older generation will be closer to us, and there will be equality. Maybe then we will have got independent of toxic dictatorships and patriarchal values. Maybe then Germany will be rid of its sense of guilt. Maybe there will be no more war.

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